SideshowMania!: Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3: Part 2

This is the second half of Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3. and whilst it includes a few matches of note – most particularly LAX vs the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express, who still move like it’s the 1980s even though the rock and roll figure they most resemble is Iron Maiden’s Eddie mascot – the main attraction here is the Clusterfuck.

The Spring Break Clusterfuck is basically a comedy battle royale, a wild parody of the Royal Rumble. (A nice point which allows for more variety of spots is that the Clusterfuck takes a leaf from MLW’s Battle Riot match format – in that as well as over-the-top-rope elimination being legal, conventional pins also are.) And because of WWE’s Saudi Arabian antics this past year with the Greatest Royal Rumble, Janela’s decided to up his game and offer up… the Greatest Clusterfuck.


This is largely an exercise in seeing how diverse a range of indie workers Janela can book to appear in a single match – it was billed as 90 entrants and, as you might expect, easily took up most of the show. First entrant this time was Necrobutcher, lured out of retirement for the sake of this nuttiness; second entrant was the current top dog in the deathmatch game, Nick FUCKING Gage, so the first couple of minutes seemed like a serious fight, especially when some more deathmatch guys came in – then you had the likes of Swoggle and Georgie Boy (a dude carrying a rubber chicken who has the best shirt design ever – a black-and-white rendition of his head with “fuck.” written under it) enter and everything degenerated into a parody of deathmatch wrestling which spiralled further into a series of increasingly unlikely spots, which is probably exactly what was intended. There were renditions of Teenage Dirtbag, Joey Ryan and Sexxxy Eddy having a lube-off, Kikataro being, well, Kikataro, and much more. It’s ridiculously good fun.

And the ending… the ending was pretty special. Won’t spoil it here, but it might set up Janela no longer being around for the next Spring Break.

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